


twenty questions

by summoner_yuna_of_besaid



Series: thick skin, elastic heart [3]
Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Cloud/Aerith, Mentions of Squall/Rinoa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 13:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4961872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summoner_yuna_of_besaid/pseuds/summoner_yuna_of_besaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A late night patrol in Traverse Town ends badly for Leon.  Luckily, a certain spiky haired blond is around to look out for him.  Given a rare moment alone, the two decide to get to know one another better.</p>
<p>"Why's the sword so damn big?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	twenty questions

# twenty questions

## XX

> _“I am not what you see.  I am what time and effort and interaction slowly unveil.”_
> 
>   
>  _― Richelle E. Goodrich_

It’s a pretty simple routine in Traverse Town.  A smaller and more peaceful place Leon’s never lived in, and though he has been here for near to a decade, it still feels like an intermission rather than a place to call home.  Sometimes he finds himself comparing it to Laguna’s time in Winhill and then quickly stops before he can get any further in comparing himself to his _father_.

In fact… he’s probably lived more of his life here than anywhere else.  There was eight years at the Orphanage, then another eight or so at Balamb Garden with a little traveling here and there.  Then, after the war, when the Heartless came and he was taken off-world, he found himself in Radiant Garden.  That was another three years or so, before the Garden fell.   Then they came here – Traverse Town, where they’d been ever since. 

It was pretty pathetic, that he’d spent almost a third of his life living in a place he thought of as a pitstop.

He didn’t even have a proper home here.  There’s the place he bought for Sora, but that’s Sora’s home, small as it is.  It was what he could afford, in the hopes that Sora could have some semblance of a normal life while he was running around saving the universe.  At least once a week the boy would stop by to restock and spend a few days recovering in the house, usually while Donald and Goofy worked on the Gummi ship or took a pitstop to their own homeworld.

But he didn’t want to impose on the kid.  It was Sora’s, and so he left it alone, other than cleaning it and keeping the bills paid.  For himself, Leon usually stayed in the motel, or slept in his Gummi.  Sometimes he’d crash at Cid’s place in the First District, at the store the man had made his own.  He had some local kids running it for him now, but it was still his, and there was a few sets of bedrooms and a kitchen in the upstairs (the third floor, above the Moogles store, which Cid rented out to them.)  He was doing the best of all of them, that was for sure.

Leon never let on that he had no place to stay.  He feels out of place with the others, sometimes, and doesn’t want to intrude, especially not to ask for a place to live.  Aerith and the others are all from the same world, all friends from a lifetime ago.  He doesn’t have that bond with them.

So, he lingers round the town, gets a room when he can, crashes with friends when he can get away with it, and when he can’t, sleeps where he can.  The Mansion in the first district has been something of a lifesaver; the place is empty, but for a lot of stray dogs (though, are they strays?  They all have collars).  The dogs seem grateful to Sora for returning their lost puppies, and in return they’ve left Leon stay there quite a lot.

Tonight, he can’t make it that far.  Gripping his blade tight, Leon uses it as a prop to try and stand and fumbles.  Hitting the ground sends pain shooting through his body, and he can’t help but hiss.  It’s been a while since he was this injured.  Then again, it’s been a while since he fought four Large Bodies and a half a dozen Soldiers by himself.

Where is he?  Looking up at the wavering world around him, he tries placing himself by the signs and buildings.  But the signs are a blur of bright light dancing around on a grey background.  Chest heaving, he tries again to stand.

“Leon?”

He falls; someone catches him, then he’s being rested against another body.  The smell of lilies, and death, fills his nose.  It’s a strange combination but one he recognizes.

“Cloud…?”

“I’ve got you.”  He’s shifted onto Cloud’s back.  It’s the last thing he sees before he slips under.

 

* * *

 

 

There’s little that Cloud Strife really knows about the man they call Leon.  He hasn’t know him for long, but even those he knows have known the man for more than ten years barely know him.  Where he’s from, who he was before all this, who he left behind, are all mysteries. 

Cloud is a man that understands the need to keep things tight to the chest, but even he has to admit to a certain curiosity regarding the man.  The small pieces he can pick out that hint at a larger story are fascinating. 

For instance, the myriad of scars the man’s collected.  Besides the one crossing the bridge of his nose, Leon’s body is covered in them.  As Cloud bandages the man’s wounds, he can’t help but let his gaze dart across them.  It’s clear this is a man whose lived his life as a warrior, and by the age of some of the scars, for a very long time.

He’s wondered about that scar on his face, too.  Most would be bothered by it, would try to hide it, but Leon doesn’t seem to care.  Looking at it, it doesn’t appear as if he’s ever tried to fix it medically or even attempt to fix it cosmetically.  But he’s clearly someone who cares about how he looks.  His hair is well cared for, his clothes carefully picked out, if as scarred and scratched as his body.

Cloud finishes cleaning and bandaging the wounds with these thoughts.  Leon lays stretched across the motel bed in the Blue Room, which has been his for weeks now.  Since he left Olympus Coliseum, in fact. He doesn’t plan on making permanent lodgings.  Even if he didn’t still have Hades to deal with, he’s never settled on one world for long.  Not since Gaia.

The thought of his home planet still hurts deeply.  It was one of the first to be taken by the Heartless, when they were a barely known threat, some twenty six years ago.  To have defeated Shinra, Jenova, and Sephiroth, just to be defeated and destroyed by some shadows from the dark?  He aches at the thought.  He’d been so helpless against them… he’d have been destroyed, he’s sure, if Zack and Aerith had not intervened and sent him safely to another world.

He’s been wandering ever since, as alone as the term can imply.  His friends scattered to the winds, the spirits of his dearly departed gone for good.  He supposes they were taken with the lifestream when it was devoured at its source, behind the Keyhole.  Eventually he found his way to the Colisuem, and there, Hades found him.  It puts a bitter taste in his mouth but… he’s not sure he can regret meeting the God. 

His thoughts are disturbed when the figure on the bed begins to move.  “Don’t get up.”  He reaches out.  Leon half hesitates, gritting his teeth as he opens his eyes.

“Cloud…”  Squinting, he glances around.  “… thanks.”

The man shrugs.  “Sure.”  Least he could do, after all.  It wasn’t like he would leave him there.  “What happened?”

Despite Cloud’s words, Leon moves to sit up.  His eyes dart about, taking in everything, his back stiff and upright.  The way he holds himself makes it clear to Cloud, as if it weren’t already – a soldier.  Probably a high ranking one, given how he gives orders like he’s used to be listened to.  “Nothing.”

Cloud just snorts at that.  Leon glares out the corner of his eyes.  “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.”  They’ve both pulled this particular trick, putting up the brick wall, keeping their distance. 

“… The Heartless have been getting stronger.”  Leon finally admits.  “Larger numbers, more powerful versions of themselves.”

“You still patrol in teams, don’t you?”

“Mostly.”

Cloud quirks an eyebrow.  “What’s mostly?” 

Leon is pointedly not looking at the man.  From this angle the blond has a good view of his handsome outline, the strong jaw, prominent nose, and smoky eyes.  “Cid and Yuffie patrol together.  Aerith holds down the fort, acts as our healer.  I patrol alone.”

“And they let you?”  Before Leon opens his mouth, Cloud holds up a hand.  “Wait, I get it.  They don’t know.”

The man outright pouts.  It’s adorable, and Cloud would laugh if it wouldn’t get him a fist to the face.  Still, he can’t help but smirk.  “They… might assume I patrol with Aerith.  And Aerith assumes Cid and I switch around.”

“Why not do that?”

“They’re overworked, and exhausted to the bone.”  Leon insists.  “They don’t need more to do.”

Cloud doesn’t have to say a word; just fixes his gaze on Leon, one eyebrow quirked.  Leon holds his gaze for a moment before rolling his eyes and turning away.  “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Not with words.”  Both of them share a grin; they understand the power of what’s left unsaid, the meaning implied in silence.

“I’m fine.”  Leon finally says. 

“Sure.”  Cloud shakes his head.  “You could just ask, you know.”

“Ask what?”

“Ask me.”  Cloud, standing to walk around the bed, approaches the nearby chair.  He strips off the cloak; taking the shirt off is more difficult with the wing, but he manages.  “I’d be happy to help.”  He turns, and sees Leon staring.  It occurs to him, with some horror, that perhaps the wing disgusts him as much as it does Cloud.  “Sorry, I – know its hideous.”

“What?”  The man blinks.  “Oh.  No, I mean, it’s – whatever.”

For a moment he’s quiet, then he snorts.  “Whatever?”  Cloud laughs.  “Most people have a stronger reaction to the physical embodiment of darkness and death.”

“That sounds really bad.”  Leon shakes his head.  “Like, in a corny preteen band type of way.  Don’t call it that.” 

Shaking his head, Cloud sits down and begins untying his boots and his waist-guard.  “Then what should I call it?”

“What it is – a wing.”

Some choice words occur to him for what to really call it, but he doesn’t say.  A frown fixes itself on his face. 

“We never did have that conversation.”

Cloud looks up.  “What?”

“About ourselves.”  Leon shrugs, looking a little self-conscious as he glances away.  “From the other day?”

“The other -?”  Oh.  The day he came back.  Looking for Leon in the cave.  It had been the first time they’d seen in each in three years.  Cloud remembers reuniting the first time – at Radiant Garden, two years after the fall of Gaia.  He’d been in Hades thrall already.  He was sure Aerith knew, and she knew why; it was clear by the crushed and guilty look in her eyes.  So he’d left, and he’d been leaving ever since, running off to serve Hades’ whim and run across the worlds. 

His latest little rebellion wouldn’t last long.  If he didn’t go back, the God would show up to drag him back.

“Well,” Shrugging, Cloud moves to sit on the edge of the opposite bed, just a foot away.  If they’re going to get all sentimental, might as well give up on distance.  Up close, he watches Leon’s gaze go wide, mouth drawn in a thin tight line as color floods his face.  Cloud smirks, and when Leon sees it, he huffs and turns away.  “What do you want to know?”

* * *

 

 Now that he has the opportunity to ask, Leon has no idea what to say.  Sure, he has tons of questions about the man.  But which ones are safe to ask, and which will send him running to the hills, is another story.  He doesn’t want to lose this chance, or to deepen the already broad distance between them.  Cloud seems like a good man.  He’d like to know him better.

So he wracks his brain for something, anything to ask, something easy and innocuous, and what comes out of his mouth is -

“Why’s the sword so damn big?”

For a moment, he wonders if he’s already managed to stumble upon the wrong thing.  Then, Cloud’s stunned face breaks into a grin.  “Just lucky, I guess,” When he winks it occurs to Leon what he’s implying and he throws the extra pillow at the man’s face.  Cloud just laughs and avoids it easily.

Fenrir is resting against the far wall, over eight feet long and almost two feet wide, taller than its master.  Cloud glances its way.  “It was a tradition back home, I guess.”  He begins.  “Everyone in SOLDIER had them.  A way to show off how strong they were, by wielding a weapon no one else could.  Granted this one is… perhaps the largest.”  Cloud shrugs.  “It was an… inheritance.”

The words are a jumble of things he does and doesn’t understand, and they raise a thousand more questions.  But he stays quiet.  Watches Cloud as the blond turns, waiting to see what he’ll do.

“My turn?”  He asks.  Leon nods.  Cloud lowers his hand into his lap.  “What’s with the necklace?”

His hand rises to it, lifting the silver Griever pending from his chest.  It is the only thing, beside bandages, that he’s wearing on his torso, he realizes with a small blush.  “… I like lions.”

Cloud blinks.  “That’s it?”  The man huffs. 

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, just,” He shrugs.  “The way you wear that so religiously, I’d figured there was more to it.”

Glancing down again, Leon lets it fall against his chest.  He could say more.  Could discuss how it became a symbol for him, for everything he wanted to be, the brave warrior and protector.  He’s not sure how to word it without sounding stupid.  “It’s… meaningful.”  That’s not how.  Sighing, he shakes his head.  “It’s hard to explain.”

“It represents something to you.  Something important.”

At that, Leon nods.  “Yeah.”

“What?”

He looks down again.  “Who I want to be.”  Unable to handle the weight of Cloud’s stare, he shifts the conversation back to him.  “Where were you born?”

“Little country town called Nibelheim, back on Gaia.”  Cloud says easily.  Leon’s not sure how he manages it.  It’s been years since he was home but he at least has a home to go back to – he thinks.  He’s almost entirely sure, unless something had drastically changed since the Heartless spirited him away.  He can’t imagine not having his friends and family, his home, out there somewhere, waiting for him.  “You?”

He shrugs.  “Don’t know.”

Cloud’s gaze narrows.  “No hometown?”

“I grew up in an orphanage.”  He admits.  “Don’t remember where it was, though.”

“You… don’t remember where your home was?”

The man in bed winces a little.  There are many things time has taken from him, and this is one of the worst.  “My childhood memories aren’t all there.”

Cloud blinks.  Stares.  They sit in silence and as it continues he feels that gaze getting harder.  “And?”

“And what?”

“Damn, you really do suck at this.”  Cloud finally laughs.  “You’re worse than I am.”  Leon would thrown a pillow at him again, but he’s out of extras.  “I mean, why?  You don’t have to answer if you don’t want.  Just say so.”

He thinks about it for a minute; but really, of all things, this is not his worst or most painful secret.  “Some of my memories were destroyed by magic.”

Cloud stares again.  A shudder goes up Leon’s spine at meeting it, for reasons that have nothing to do with the conversation.  But he does get the feeling that he is somehow failing at it right now, a feeling he often has during conversations.

“Okay.  I’ll take that.”  An exasperated sigh follows.  There’s quiet, and Leon realizes he’s meant to talk again.  Why had he brought this up?  His face is hot and between the tempting distraction Cloud’s half naked form makes, and the awkward scenario he’s caught in, his mind really is not in full gear.

“You’re a soldier?”

Cloud nods.  “I enlisted at 16 and made it through a few years of training, before the world went to shit.”  He inclines his head.  “You, too?”

Leon shakes his negatively.  “Mercenary.”  Cloud’s eyes go wide.

“Wouldn’t have pegged you for a gun for hire.”

“It’s… not exactly the same on my world as on most.”  He adjusts his position a little, trying to soothe his aching back.  “I was part of a large paramilitary organization which offered its services to the various governments of our world for peacekeeping and other less peaceful operations.”

Cloud whistles.  “What made you choose that?”

“You’re cheating, Strife.”  The blond rolls his eyes, but nods.  Leon asks his question.  “The hair?"

Rolling his eyes, Cloud says, “Completely natural.  It just does this.”  Then, he repeats his previous question.

Leon fidgets, eyes darting away.  “I don’t know if I picked it.  I guess I was probably picked by a recruiter and taken from the Orphanage then.”

“Wait… how old were you?”

He almost mentions cheating, but really, he’d like to get this particular part of the night over with.  “Eight I guess.”

“You - ?”  Cloud’s mouth drops open.   “A child soldier?”

“I wasn’t really in a war until I was 16.”

“I didn’t even _start_ training until I was 16.”  The man retorts. 

Leon gets it; he does.  It’s the whole reason he was so against letting Sora join the battle in the first place.  But what can he do?  The past is past.  No point worrying about it now, when it can’t be changed.  But that look stays in Cloud’s eyes, sympathetic and angry – angry for him, and he doesn’t know how to handle it.  So he doesn’t.  “My turn.”

 

* * *

 

 

A child soldier.  It certainly explains a lot about the man, given everything he knows and what he’s seen.  Anger burns bright in his chest along with indignance and he can’t help but feel protective of the child Leon had once been.  An eight year old, drafted into the military… he can’t imagine it.  He’d been young, but not that young, and he’d gone willingly.  Leon couldn’t even remember the circumstances of how he’d joined.

“Alright.”  Clearly, Leon isn’t comfortable with the conversation.  He allows the man to shift them towards something else. 

The man is quiet for a minute.  Then, finally, a furtive glance looks his way.  “So… you and Aerith?”  He trails off suggestively, and Cloud realizes the implications.

“No.”  He crosses his arms, looks down.  The motel carpet is only slightly stained; a vast improvement over most of the places he’s stayed.  “We – almost were.  A long time ago.  A lot’s changed since then.”

“The air always seems so charged between you two.”  Leon continues, brow furrowed.  “You sure things have changed?”

Cloud knows what he means.  “It’s not romantic.  It’s just…”  Lowering his head, he sighs. 

“You don’t have to answer.”

“We can hardly have a conversation about knowing each other if we’re going to dance around every painful thing that comes up.”  Cloud insists.  But his voice is dark, lowered.  This is perhaps the most painful thing he can speak of.  Few other events in his life come close.

“Back home… Aerith and I both joined a group called AVALANCHE.”

Leon nods.  “They’ve told me some about it.”

“We fought together.”  Cloud continues, hands intertwining, squeezing hard.  “And we did care about each other.  But… she – died. Before anything could come of it.”

Here it comes.  Cloud keeps his head lowered, but he can practically feel Leon’s eyes burning into the top of his skull.  “She died?”

Mouth dry, he nods.  “Yeah,”

“But then…”  The wheels begin to turn, and Leon, mouth gaping, realizes.  “Hades.”

“Yeah.”  Cloud grits his teeth, leaning forward.  Elbows on his knees, he lets his head hang low.  “Hades.”

“But how did…?”

“He find me?”  Cloud shrugs.  “I was wandering after Gaia died, and happened upon the Coliseum.  He knew, somehow.  Told me he could bring her back, so long as he got something in return.”

“You.”  Leon says.  Cloud doesn’t have to say anything back.  “You gave your life for hers.  Your _soul_  ... for hers.”

* * *

 

 

In response to Leon’s question, Cloud nods.  And at that moment, Leon is half-convinced he’s in love with the man.  The man who, when approached by a God of Death traded his soul for the life of a woman he’d once loved.  If that wasn’t the most romantic and tragic thing he’d ever heard, if it wasn’t just a Lifetime movie in real life.  It sounded like a story but here the man was, plain as day.  And since Aerith had been on Radiant Garden with Leon, that meant…

“He’s had your soul for years now.”

“Yeah,” Cloud shakes his head.  “Isn’t it my turn by now?”

Leon gives a slow nod, still in awe of the knowledge he’s obtained.  His respect for Cloud has skyrocketed.  Before, he knew of the man as a good swordsman and a seemingly good man, a friend of his friends.  Now?  He can’t believe the man is sitting here, having done what he’s done – and then to have betrayed Hades, to have refused to kill Sora despite the risk to himself…

“Wait.”  Leon holds up a hand.  “If you stopped serving Hades, what will happen to Aerith?”

“She’s fine.”  Cloud shakes his head.  “I mean, she can be hurt like anybody else.  But Hades has no control over the living.  Once they’re back, they’re out of his hands.”  He smiles darkly.  “I figured that out pretty fast, and Hades did not appreciate it.”  A chuckle escapes him.  “Anyway, are we still playing this game?  Or are we done?”

Leon sits in perfect quiet, until he can’t handle it anymore.  “They made me their Commander.”  Surprised eyes look up to his.  He’s almost shaking with the effort to say this, but damn, Cloud just told him that he traded his soul for his love.  If he can share that – “I was sixteen, we were in a war, and they promoted me because I was there.  I had no idea what I was doing.  I was so fucking lonely but I pushed everyone away because I was afraid of what would happen if I let them in.  And when I finally did… when the war was over and we’d won and everything we’d fought for came together…” He clenches his fist.  “The Heartless came.  They swarmed over me, and I blacked out, and woke up on Radiant Garden.  Haven’t been home since.”  _I’m alone and I have no idea what I’m doing_ , those things were true then and they are true now.

Cloud’s eyes meet his own gaze, watery and wavering, and hold it.  For a moment he’s not sure what the man will do.  Then, he starts speaking.  Of his own childhood, his own worst memories.  No more questions are needed.  They just talk.  Back and forth, trading dreams, trading nightmares.  About the loneliness of growing up isolated and alone, whether in a small country village or a military school.  The conversation lulls and shifts, and Leon finds his heart pounding in his chest, and suddenly he asks the question he’s wondered since the beautiful blond first appeared out of nowhere that day years ago at Radiant Garden.

“Are you… with anyone?”  Leon asks haltingly.  “Or, were, or whatever.”  He shrugs, and tries to act like this is just curiosity talking and not a burning interest that is getting harder to ignore.

Cloud’s eyes are soft, curious.  He tilts his head to the side.  “I have been, a few times.  But no one right now, no.”

“Not even… someone you left behind?”  He continues.  Cloud shakes his head.

“The people I’ve loved are dead, besides Aerith.”  He says.  “And Aerith and I…  well, that time has passed.  We’re friends now.”  He smiles.  “What about you?”

“I…”  Leon swallows.  “I don’t know.”

“You… don’t know?”

“I mean,” He shrugs, glancing down.  “I danced with someone.  Someone I loved.  But I never…”  Never told her.  Never found the strength.  “The Heartless separated us.”

“So, you’re waiting for her.”

“I don’t know.”  Leon admits.  “I do love her.  I think I’m in love with her.  But I think…”  He manages to look up, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks all the way to his ears.  “I think I like you, too.”

“Like?”  Cloud smirks.  “What are we twelve?”

“Shut up!”  Leon smacks him.  “Give me some slack!  I’m no good at this.”

“So, you’ve never had a romantic partner?”

“I mean… I think Rinoa counts.”  He sinks into himself, heart pounding, so embarrassed by it all.  “We never talked about it but… I felt it.  I’m pretty sure she did.  She said I was handsome.”

“Oh, good gracious,” The southern drawl made an appearance then.  “Kid, I’m sure she loved you.  Pretty sure I could love you too.”  Cloud grins at the shocked expression on his face.  “Okay, I’m real sure I already do.”

After a moment, Leon hits him.  At the gawking and insulted look, Leon smirks.  “You called me kid again.”

“Well, you are.”

“To _you_ old man.”

They fall quiet.  Leon realizes Cloud’s as flushed as he is, his strangely bright eyes dilated, and he’s leaning forward, expectantly.  But he hesitates, waiting a distance away, waiting for… what?

“So,” He starts.  “What now?”

 “I…”  Why is this falling to him?  He has no idea. He doesn’t know how to be with one person, let alone two.  But Rinoa is a distant memory he clings to at night, a phantom and a shadow that haunts his heart.  Cloud is here, and very solid, very real.  Finally, the painful words rise out of his dry throat.  “I’m tired of being alone.”

The words feel heavy as he says them.  But once they’re gone, he feels – lighter.  Leon manages to meet Cloud’s eyes and sees the other is smiling.

“There’s a diner in the second district I’m rather fond of.”  He starts.  “We could have dinner there, tomorrow, if you want?”

Leon thinks for a moment.  “I have evening patrol tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Cloud nods.  “We patrol together, then dinner.”

He hesitates, a fond smirk on his lips, before he finally nods.  “It’s a date.”

 


End file.
